Easter Candy FAILS

I can remember as a kid being so excited to find my basket on Easter Sunday after church. Much like Santa Claus, I could never figure out how the bunny or Claus could get into our home and to be honest, it scared me to think there was a secret way into our little trailer home. 

The thing that I never knew until I got older was how… “The Easter Bunny…” would actually count out the same amount of jelly beans for each kid’s basket to ensure that my two older brothers and I wouldn’t feel slighted. Never has anyone ever cast their eyes upon three more equal baskets of sweet goodness. 

I was always delighted when I found a delicious morsel nestled down in that plastic green grass when I thought the candy was long gone. 

The candy was traditional and good. I’m not sure I could navigate it all these days. Here’s just a few of the latest concoctions that are
available for “The Easter Bunny” to plop in your basket these days. I’d call them Easter candy FAILS, but there’s a market for every idea—although some are better than others.

Here’s a nice little nugget of goodness: “Dingle Bearies.” Yes, you read that right. I’m not sure how I would feel about putting these in my mouth, although I am grateful they are gummy bears, as opposed to chocolate bears, given the name, I suppose. 

How about one that some kids might readily put in their mouth—“Box of Boogers,” and would likely taste better than the original ones found inside their nasal cavity. I’ll admit it—this one truly is disgusting. I can chuckle at Dingle Bearies, but the Boogers kind of cross a line for me.  However, I’m sure there are some parents who would joyfully buy them for their kids. 

This next one is in that same category—“Bunny Poop.” OK, I admit it. I laughed when I saw this one; although I’m not totally sure that a kid would want this one in their basket. Still, I’m pretty sure it’s not TOTALLY tasteless; I mean, chocolate IS chocolate, right? 

Then with the tremendous adoration for zombies these days in pop culture, I suppose it’s not a stretch for the “Zombie Bunny” to be available. Seriously, who doesn’t want a bite of a Zombie Bunny on Easter Sunday? Mmm! Mmm! It’s even green to resemble rotted flesh, with red accents for blood… which begs the question—is this Easter candy or Christmas? 

I’m not exactly sure what the creators of these confections were thinking, but I am sure that there is a fringe market for them. You probably work with some people who would gladly load up on these items and the makers would laugh all the way to the bank.

I guess I’m just a traditionalist when it comes to candy. I like my Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs, and noshing on the ears of a chocolate bunny.  But I probably would buy the “Box of Boogers” for a few select people that deserve them.