COCAINE BEAR IS AS CRAZY AS IT SOUNDS

There are some movies that are named about as perfectly as can be for what they are about. Star Wars, Saving Private Ryan, Sixteen Candles all have great names and they never actually same the title in the movie. Then there are those named for what they are about such as Jurassic Park, Top Gun, and The Breakfast Club. Finally, there are those named strictly for what they are about, and the name basically slaps you in the face with Snakes On A Plane, Jaws, and Hot Tub Time Machine. Put my latest watch in that last category in that you should just call it what it is. If you’re making a movie about a bear getting snoot full of drugs and going nuts then just call it what it is: Cocaine Bear. Sometimes Hollywood is too busy trying to come up with fancy names in an attempt to kind of hide the fact that the movie might not be that great. Snakes On A Plane was supposed to be called something else until, reportedly Samual L. Jackson just told them to call it what it is. Viewers actually appreciated it, and it has become a bit of a cult classic with that being part of its legend. Cocaine Bear on Amazon is exactly what it says and they waste no time getting to it.

Now this isn’t totally a Hollywood fantasy made up. It is loosely based on a true story from the 1980s when a bear did actually get into a dumped shipment of drugs in the mountains and died. Medical experts said it probably lived for 20-30 minutes and then died from a massive overdose as its stomach was filled with cocaine. But someone had the idea if the bear had been fully tweaking that it would have become super aggressive and would have attacked people in a frenzied state and we would have a Jaws-on-land situation with the bear. You will recognize a few people in the film with Keri Russell as a mom trying to find her school skipping daughter and Ray Liotta (in his final role) as the head drug dealer both out in the woods unaware of the terror that awaits them. Alden Ehrenreich plays a distraught drug dealer thug having a change of heart moment during all these escapades. The rest of the cast is made up of “oh, it’s that guy” actors.

While Cocaine Bear is a horror movie filled with jump scares and gory dismemberments it is clearly laughing at itself as the audience laughs along. Director Elizabeth Banks made sure that if you came to see this and its over the top theatrics that you were in on the joke. You can’t really take it serious and the filmmakers know that you know that. They play you right into their hands. The acting is pretty good considering the plot and surroundings, but it’s not Oscar worthy. At times you find yourself not necessarily cheering for a hero or bad guy, but at times you are cheering for the bear as we have a mixture of good people and bad people and some characters that would just drive us nuts in real life and we would wish a bear would eat them. Cocaine Bear seems like an unstoppable force and there is no safe place from the terrible animal when in reality there are moment that people would be safe in real life, but the movie doesn’t want to let anyone off the hook. The attack scenes are drawn out and have moments of not being able to see the attacker ala Jaws mixed with razor sharp claws and teeth covered in blood and other …. pieces. While I advocate for seeing movies in theaters when you can if you decided to wait until you could watch it at home you made a good choice. It’s currently free to stream on Amazon and it fits the 80s vibe horror movie that you watch with your friends on Halloween night while consuming popcorn and cheap grocery store pizza, and drinking sugary pop. If you’re a movie coniseur of not big on gore then this movie is not for you. However, if you can watch horror while also laughing at the action while the movie laughs at itself then start this film up, sit back, and get lost in the zany, coke induced frenzy that will make you think twice about going into the woods.